I have moved!

The Elevator Ride on Tumblr

Please update your RSS feeds. Thank you :)

Ken: In Memoriam

When my family first moved to Canada in 1997, I hated it. I wanted to go back home to Manila so bad. I just entered high school with 200 other girls who I've known since I was 5 years old. Moving from Manila was just like ripping out a piece of my heart and intentionally shattering it into a million pieces. That's how it felt like anyways.

Because of my fervent desire to go back to how things were, I was so adamant that I'll go back to Manila after I finished high school and restart my once interrupted life. That is.. unless I get a dog. Since I was little, dogs have been a big part of who I am and I felt they offered solace from this big bad world.

We got Ken through fluke, to be honest. After some constant nagging, my parents finally gave in and started scouring local newspapers about dogs which were available. Since our only experience with dogs as a family have been with chow-chows, we decided that another chow or chow mix would make sense.

I remember being so excited the day when we went to this person's house to pick up this chow puppy. I already had an image in my mind of what type of dog I wanted. Something a little gray/ black with a hint of brown in them. I saw the perfect puppy and as we were carrying the puppy out, the puppy bit me and I went into a state of shock where I almost fainted. My parents initially wanted to just abandon this whole puppy process but after composing myself, I said no, we should go find another puppy in the litter.

That was Ken. This little bouncing golden chow/ retriever mix that no one wanted. He was the runt of the litter and was often just following all the other dogs around and just tailing behind them. In my mind, I thought, "Hey, you're the littlest.. like how I am the littlest (in the family) too. We'll go through this together."

With every dog, I find that there are heartbreaks but also happiness. Ken was rambunctious, curious and slightly crazy. Kinda like me :). From the moments when he peed and destroyed my mother's beloved garden, to escaping from the yard and for us to turn the neighbourhood upside down only to find that he's actually waiting for us at the front door to let him in, he did not lack personality and always seized the opportunity for a memorable outcome.

When I moved to Toronto for school and left my room empty except for the holidays, my brother would always tell me that they'll often find Ken laying on my bed as if he's laying claim to it. Lol. Or maybe he just missed me too.

As the years went by, Ken was was still Ken. When I last visited Vancouver, Ken trekked up the hills with my fiancee and my brother with rigor and loved the winter cold.

Last night, as I was rounding up a day's worth of work, I received a call from my parents who are currently vacationing in the Philippines with my brother and sister-in-law. Our dogsitter said that Ken has not been eating lately and has also not able to move. He decided that he needed to bring him to the hospital where the vet said he's in really rough shape. Physically, he was just deteriorating and was doing so very fast.

Everything just happened so quickly. I called the vet and the vet said that she recommends that he be euthanized. As a family, we decided that we couldn't let Ken go through this alone. I flew out to Vancouver from Toronto at the next available flight. Ken also needed to be transferred to an emergency clinic at about 5PM as his regular vet is not open 24x7.

Throughout my whole travel time, I was just mentally trying to connect with Ken to hold on.. Don't go without me saying goodbye. I arrived in Vancouver at 1AM on Friday morning and went straight to the emergency clinic.

When I first saw him at the clinic, my heart just broke. Gone was the vivacious dog I knew and here was a dog who was so physically frail. I kissed him and thanked him for hanging on and started talking to him about the memories we shared. I then connected with the rest of my family and put them on speaker phone. With each person saying hi, he slowly gained a little more strength, enough to start barking. He summoned enough to continue barking but not enough to lift his head or move his body. It was like my puppy's excited soul was trapped in this old body.

Finally, after my mom said her goodbyes to him on the phone, he started to become calmer. My mom also explained with Ken listening in that I needed to be strong for him and to stop crying. He won't let go unless he knows everyone's going to be okay. I need to just direct him to follow the light and to let go.. and that everything was going to be okay.

With that, it was my turn to summon all my strength and courage. I composed myself and breathed. At that moment, I realized that he needed to find his peace and that he will be at a better place. With that, I finally said my goodbyes.

The euthanizing process itself was fast and painless. Ken was gone in less than 5 seconds. It was unexpectedly calming and I closed his eyes and kissed him for one final time. I then tried to remember a poem which I found on the Internet to, one more time, to finally let go.

Beyond The Rainbow - Cate Guyan

As much as I loved the life we had and all the times we played,

I was so very tired and knew my time on earth would fade.

I saw a wondrous image then of a place that's trouble-free

Where all of us can meet again to spend eternity.

I saw the most beautiful Rainbow, and on the other side

Were meadows rich and beautiful -- lush and green and wide!

And running through the meadows as far as the eye could see

Were animals of every sort as healthy as could be!

My own tired, failing body was fresh and healed and new

And I wanted to go run with them, but I had something left to do.

I needed to reach out to you, to tell you I'm alright

That this place is truly wonderful, then a bright Glow pierced the night.

'Twas the Glow of many Candles shining bright and strong and bold

And I knew then that it held your love in its brilliant shades of gold.

For although we may not be together in the way we used to be,

We are still connected by a cord no eye can see.

So whenever you need to find me, we're never far apart

If you look beyond the Rainbow and listen with your heart.

What was crazy was that the vet technicians said that he was just quiet and laying in his kennel until I visited him and he started barking and howling.

What was crazier is the fact that Ken has been deaf for at least a year due to his old age. He was suddenly able to hear us again.. for us to say our farewells. He was responding to our voices with his barks and howls.

I love you Ken. Thanks for all the memories. You gave me enough strength to stay here in Canada. Life could have been so dramatically different and I wouldn't change what I have now for the world.

Thanks so much for hanging on, long enough for me to say goodbye. You will be sorely missed. Now, go have fun with your other dog friends and someday soon, we'll see each other again.

Rest in peace, Ken. He was 15 years old.

Chicago at Night! + Photo Upload Update

It's a terrible excuse, but I've been so tapped out with so many things to do for work lately (plus back injury) that I have not been blogging.

Anyhow, time to catch up! :)

I spent a couple of last week in Chicago, a city I truly love. I sometimes can see myself transplanted in Chicago and go about my merry way. It's a city that reminds me of Toronto but in an American way. I don't know if that makes sense, lol. Anyhow, one of the things that Chicago has certainly done WAYY BETTTERRRR than Toronto has is preserving all their old buildings and putting some emphasis on restoration. Wish Toronto did the same!

I remember taking these pictures the night before Chicago was about to get hit by a blizzard. Well, as someone from Toronto, how one defines a blizzard is fairly relative :). I braved the cold (it was really really really cold) with a local friend who was kind enough to bring me around the city.

Here are some pictures!

On another note, I can't stand how Blogger minimizes my photos to a certain size and it's frikkin fugly. Weirdly enough, I was able to manipulate my photo size before at the Dynamic theme that Blogger offered. I tried to go back to a Dynamic theme for that sheer reason, but now I am unable to resize my photos anymore.

Wanting to keep this blog and its tools in the Google family, I also tried to download and use Picasa and c'mon, it's seriously the most confusing photo upload platform ever!! I have Picasa on my Mac and I still have no idea how to link my photos to my Picasa web account despite being logged in.

I was so peeved with the whole Blogger/ Picasa fiasco, I actually created a WordPress AND Posterous account just to find an alternative to this photo issue. I do like both platforms but I also like Blogger. I'll eventually make a decision, but for now, my photos are uploaded on Flickr.

That's it for now!

Toodles noodles.

XO,

Care

Love

Ironic as it may seem because it is part of what I do, I like to listen more than I like to talk. I love hearing stories about people, their life, history, their dreams, and everything in between.

But most of all, I love hearing stories about love. There's just something so magical hearing about how two different people got together and decided to take a leap of faith and commit their whole beings to each other for the rest of their lives. Maybe it's because I'm just a closet romantic at heart, but stories about love inspire me to the core and you'll see me bawling my eyes out at a friend's wedding or during the speeches at the reception. It also, in a way, restores my faith in humanity.

Last night, I had the honour of attending one of my friend's wedding reception. Without my camera, of course. :(. Drats. Regardless, it was such a simple and sweet event and it was one of the best wedding receptions I've been to in awhile. There's just something so moving about actually having a celebration about a couple's love rather than having to go through a ceremony just because of pomp and circumstance.

To the happy couple, you deserve all the love in the world and may you have the rest of your lives to enjoy your journey together.

Here are some pictures from my little BB Torch hehe. :)

Cheers!

Glory - Jay-Z

This has got to be one of the cutest and sweetest things I've seen in awhile. I saw Jay-Z when he was touring with Kanye in Toronto and it was AMAZING. I love Jay-Z and (most of) his rhymes! :)

He wrote and recorded this little song called "Glory" about his new baby, Ivy Blue. Enjoy!

The most amazing feeling I feel
Words can’t describe the feeling for real
Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you, you
Glory

Ooooh Glory

False alarms and false starts (ugh)
All made better by the sound of your heart (yeah)
All the pain of the last time
I prayed so hard it was the last time
Your mamma said that you danced for her
Did you wiggle your hands for her?
Glory, Glory, Glory, Sorry
Everything that I prayed for
God’s gift, I wish I would’ve prayed more
God makes no mistakes, I made a few
Rough sledding here and there, but I made it through
I wreak havoc on the world, get ready for part 2
A younger, smarter, faster me
So a pinch of Hov, a whole glass of Béy

Glory
The most amazing feeling I feelWords can’t describe what I’m feeling for real

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you

Your grand pop died, a ***** fell yeh
Then he died of liver failure
Deep down he was a good man
God damn, I can’t deliver failure
Bad ass Lil Hov
2 years old, shopping on Savile Row
Wicked ass lil B
Hard not to spoil you rotten looking like little me
The most beautifulest thing in this world
Daddy’s little girl
You don’t yet know what swag is
But you was made in Paris
And mama woke up the next day and shot her album package
Last time the miscarriage was so tragic
We was afraid you disappeared
But nah, baby you magic (voilà)
So there you have it, shit happens
Make sure the plane you on is bigger than your carry on baggage
Everybody goes through stuff
Life is a gift love, open it up
You’re a child of destiny
You’re the child of my destiny
You’re my child with the child from Destiny’s Child
That’s a hell of a recipe
Glory, Glory, Glory, Sorry

XO,

Care

Cost: Free

Tools Used: YouTube, Google, Blogger, Chrome